Hi, nice mice. This is darling Becca, from A Los Angeles Love, here to share some sanity and awesomeness with us. Her topic? TAKING A VACATION FROM WEDDING PLANNING. Oh, yeah. I am SO in.

Hi micies! I’m so excited that Mouse invited me to join you here at Souris Mariage while she’s away. And, since I’m the teensiest bit jealous that she’s off traveling and traversing, I thought I’d talk about how we all deserve a vacation too. Specifically, how we deserve a vacation from wedding planning. Now. Right this instant.* Start planning your wedding planning vacation tonight because the guest list and napkin colors will still be there next week, I promise.

Turning off weddingbrain is a lot easier said than done. Personally, mine’s been racing around at meltdown speed until I had the awful realization that every conversation with my partner seems to begin with the words “so for the wedding, I was thinking about...” Well Boo to that cr*p. My weddingbrain hasn’t been shutting off lately and I need to do something about it. And so, Operation Vacation from Wedding Cr*p was born.

How do we get weddingbrain to turn off? How do we actually take that weekend for ourselves without suddenly remembering that we can’t seat Aunt Kathy anywhere nearby Uncle James? It’s not easy, because those thoughts are definitely all running around in your head, trying to save you from forgetting the one single item that will entirely ruin your wedding. Yeah, well, it won’t be ruined if I can’t figure out how to match our centrepieces to the ugly black chairs that come with our rental hall. So Step One in Operation Vacation From Wedding Cr*p: reminding yourself that it’s going to be okay. Really. Your pre-wedding self would have laughed at you and your post-wedding self won’t give a fig anymore about centerpieces. So start by reminding yourself of this basic truth.

For me, it’s a lot easier to take a vacation from wedding planning thoughts if I’m not stuck in the same post-work routine of cooking dinner together and sitting down on the sofas with our computers and various side projects. For us, that’s where my “so for the wedding...” moments usually happen. For us, that’s usually when we tackle guest list hell or begin drafting our wedding website wording. So for us, that’s the moment we need to shake up and change around. And like that, I’ve conquered Step Two in Operation Vacation From Wedding Cr*p: identify your weddingbrain’s most intrusive moments so you can plan accordingly.

Ok, so now you’ve identified where wedding brain is most likely to attack, although we all know it can strike anywhere and everywhere. Oh! I wonder how much the hotel on that corner would cost for a room block! Oh! Did you see her dress? That would be great for my ‘maids! Oh! I like that color combination! Oh...OH NO. You can’t stop inspiration from striking, but you can learn how to bite your wedding tongue. Every time you have a lightbulb idea... write it down. Seriously. Get it out of your head, where it’s buzzing around and irritating you with its logic and poor timing, and into a place where you can deal with it later, at a more appropriate time. Write it in your phone. Start carrying around a teeny notebook and write it there. Keep that notebook permanently attached to your hand during the intrusive moments you identified during Step Two. I personally love Google Docs, which I can access from any computer and phone and can share with Jason, and have begun saving all my wedding moment ideas in various brainstorm lists online (friend task list, bring on the day-of list, day-of logistics/timing list, guest list... and so on.) These lists hold scores of ideas with real benefit, but the best benefit is getting them out of my head, away from conversation, and into a place where I can organize them later. Writing about weddings (in bullet-point.quick note form) is allowed during Operation Vacation because it’s a sanity saving tool that actually enables Step Three in Operation Vacation from Wedding Cr*p: NO TALKING ABOUT YOUR FREAKING WEDDING ANYMORE.
Now, when I say vacation from wedding planning, I mean precisely that: a vacation. Not an “I promise to not talk anymore about weddings tonight pledge” Because that’s a pledge. That’s a step in creating a real non-wedding space for ourselves, but it isn’t the only step. Because really, this wedding thing is stressing me out. And I’m not getting a real vacation this year because I’m saving my time off for the wedding. And I’m not getting time off in general because my schedule looks something like: work, write, plan wedding, visit friends, plan wedding, try to exercise, do errands, plan wedding, go to show, plan wedding... and so on. (You probably don’t see sleep on that list, because there isn’t much of it.) So. I think we all need a real vacation. It doesn’t need to be a week-long break or even a weekend off, but we all need something different, something fun in the middle of this stress. Of course, there’s the worry about chickens and how the wedding budget is eating them all. So here are some ideas, ranging from super-frugal to (comparative) splurges to help you with Step Four in Operation Vacation From Wedding Cr*p: plan your vacation fun.

• Romantic picnic dinner. It’s summertime, for goodness sake, making this the perfect time of year to get outside with delicious food and a delicious partner. Find the closest park or check with your City or County for cultural festivals (many of which are free.) Even just mix it up and have a picnic on the apartment floor. Honestly, the most romantic anniversary we ever had was when I got a horrible migraine and we had to reschedule our hotel getaway plans. Instead, we ordered in sushi, set a blanket, candles and flowers on the floor, and I swooned a bit over how we made romance happen anyhow.

• Hiking. If you’re not hiking people, substitute “hiking” for “walk around the lake” or “walk around a new neighborhood with multi-million dollar mansions.” Really, this is just an excuse to get some exercise (endorphins! yay!) while surrounded by pretty in a new place you haven’t been before.

• Camping. My vacation dollars are nearly non-existent this year (hello wedding). So we’ve become huge fans of cartrips and camping for a weekend away. Get out in nature, snuggle tightly under the sleeping bag covers, and roast marshmallows together while drinking beer and looking at the stars. Perfection. Really. With a velvet sparkle night sky you won’t be thinking about weddings.

• Vacation Rentals: Not a camper? I understand, but you can still get the benefit of that velvet night sky andinexpensive-ish weekend away if you’re creative. Look for people renting their homes. You can get really affordable places with kitchens and washing machines in central (or remote) locations. We personally like Vacation Rentals By Owner.

• Last Minute Travel Savings: Are you at the end of your wedding rope and need a vacation NOW? Not too picky about your exact hotel? See what the deal sites give back, because they help hotels sell their last unsold rooms at a discount. Visit Priceline and ask for a 4 star hotel for $80 somewhere nearby-ish, and see if anything is available. If it is and the four star hotel accepts your $80 bid, you get a frugal happy dance. If there’s nothing available, you haven’t risked a penny. Alternately, I’ve found Last Minute and Travelocity often provide excellent last minute travel deals (hotels and entire packages) for a long weekend away.

• Be a Tourist in Your Own City. I grew up in Los Angeles. As a local, I never really think about doing touristy things unless friends come to visit. I don’t generally hike up to the Hollywood Sign or visit the Getty Villa or do any of the things listed at this tourist guide here on a normal basis. But why not? These things are on the tourist guides for a reason! Every so often I shake myself and rediscover all the great things about Los Angeles from a different, non-work, non-errand, non-everyday life perspective. So take an architecture walking tour. Go to the local museum. Visit the places recommended by the Tourism Board or Chamber of Commerce. Play like it’s your vacation. As a side, note, the find-a-cheap-4-star-hotel tactic is also useful for turning these tourist days into a full-blown vacation-in-your-own-city. I love vacations-in-your-own-city. You don’t need to travel far, but you get a whole new perspective on the city (and romance, hint hint) from a hotel room vantage point.

• Act Like a Kid: When’s the last time you went to a carnival or played mini golf? We should all act like kids more often. So go play mini golf. Take a trip to an amusement park, if there’s one nearby. Plan a co-ed touch football game (or water gun wars, or whatever) in the park with a bunch of your friends.

• Have a Fancy Dinner Out. Just treat yourself. Get out of frugal wedding mode and do something yummy and delicious and special tonight, not just your favorite Mexican joint. Cut down the cost by checking Groupon or Restaurant.com for deals. Decide to just go for appetizers and drinks. I don’t care. Just do something different. Tonight.

• Plan a Dinner Party. Technically, this sounds like it could be a lot of work. But it doesn’t need to be! You can either do a potluck (yay cheap!) or make curry/salad/grill food/whatever for a table of 10. Honestly, the effort of planning a dinner party will distract you from the effort of planning your wedding.

There you go, a simple four-step path to success with Operation Vacation From Wedding Cr*p. Remind yourself it’s going to be okay, identify your weddingbrain weaknesses and plan accordingly, write down your renegade thoughts to get them out of your brain, find something fun to shake up the routine, and finally get back to reminding yourself why you fell in love in the first place.

Of course, this is hardly an exhaustive list of tactics or options for fun. I’m open to suggestions. I would love your help. In fact, I may desperately need your help for those times when weddingbrain becomes particularly intrusive. Like now. And yesterday. And tomorrow. But not next weekend. Because next weekend, I’m planning on a little wedding vacation.

* Unless you’re a month or so away from your own wedding. In which case, please carry on with your planning and use visions of your own nearly-here honeymoon to keep you sane in this home stretch.