There's been a lot of heat in the blogosphere this week, mice. It makes me think it's time to state a few things out loud, because people all over are expressing their hurt feelings over other people's opinions. It goes sort of like this:

Blogger (any of us, really): "I, personally, don't care for having a goat as flower girl."*
Commenter: "Blogger, you have hurt me so deeply. In my family, goats are a time-honored tradition and it would break the hearts of my parents not to have a goat. And I really like goats. How could you have said something so hurtful?"

And then said Blogger takes it to heart, worrying that she has upset goat-lovers all over the internet and that not liking goats makes her a bad person on some level. Or she poses a hypothetical about goats, noting frantically in the footnotes that this isn't her opinion, but just something someone else said. Clearly, we're all anticipating those critical comments.

But you know what? No matter how emotionally charged wedding decisions are, most of them boil down to opinion and taste. They are PERSONAL. Blogging means coming up with opinions and articulating them in print.

Can't we, as a community of independent, free-thinking women (and occasional men), get behind the idea that we're actually not all trying to achieve the same thing? Can't we see all weddings--a big wedding, a small wedding, an inexpensive wedding, a glam wedding--as beautiful in terms of the people who are getting married?

For me, the goal isn't to direct style or shape my readers or pass judgment on what you guys want. I, personally, hate chair covers. I bet lots of you will have them. Maybe you like how they look, maybe your mother really wanted them, or maybe you're stuck with them because of the venue. But we can still be friends if I express my opinion, right? And you won't take it as a judgment on your style?

I'm not religious, but I find church ceremonies beautiful and moving. I hate big poufy veils on me, but I love brides who rock them. I don't care for jazz music, but if you love it, I think it's perfect for your ceremony.

So a goat flower girl, or whatever other decisions you make, will be wonderful if they come from conscious choice. This covers everything from "I think it will be pretty" to "It's what I can afford" to "My mother likes it" to "It reminds me of my favorite childhood memory." The point is that it comes from the two people getting married, and that you choose it because you want to.

The only stuff I'm down on is the stuff people choose because they feel like they have to, because they're pummeled with the unhealthy expectations of glossy magazines, or because the people on The Knot boards say their marriage won't mean anything without this or that detail. That I abhor. But if you choose things cause you want them, then I say GO YOU.

* Obviously a hypothetical example, since a goat flower girl would be AWESOME.