As I've mentioned, our wedding venue comes with a very awesome and indomitable Wedding Lady, who is there to guide us through the planning and then deal with any sh*t that should arise on the wedding day. I, I am excited to report, will be holed up with my bridesmaids and Mama Mouse somewhere drinking champagne. So if the flowers don't come, or if the arch falls over, or if the groomsmen don't have cufflinks, I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT OR EVEN KNOW ABOUT IT until after we're married. Woohoo! For a person like me--a brooder, a worrier, a planner--this is an immense relief. If the venue didn't come with the Wedding Lady, I would figure out how to hire one. It would be worth it in lack of ulcers.

Anyway, Wedding Lady generally knows her stuff backwards and forwards, but occasionally we have differences of opinion.* This time, it's about photography. Our intrepid photographer and general badass chick Kelly Rashka** came to a venue visit with us awhile ago. The Wedding Lady has a way she does stuff: ceremony, margarita, sign the wedding license, be whisked off in a van for photos. I messed up the Wedding Lady's plan anyway, since we won't be doing the wedding license stuff that day. And then Kelly pointed out that the pond (above, ain't it cute?), which is where we'll start photos, is only a five minute WALK from the ceremony, and that there are photogenic cacti that whole way. Wedding Lady deferred, but pointed out that I might not be up for walking over there on the dirt road. "BAH!" I said. "I'm wearing flats! And I'm planning on dancing all night! I'm not afraid of the walk to the pond!"

And then, much later, The Artist*** points out to me that I will be hot and sweaty. Urgh. I hate being hot and sweaty. How did I end up planning a Tucson wedding in September? What do you think? To walk or not to walk? I'm leaning towards driving to the pond and then walking back, holding hands in a picturesque fashion.

While we're at it, OH MY GOD. What are you guys doing about the posed photos? I, personally, do not like posed photos.**** This is half because certain people in my family always close their eyes when they smile (I'm looking at you, Dad) and half because He-Mouse's de facto posed photo face is a scowl. "Nice picture," he'll say, looking over my shoulder at the computer a week after we leave some gorgeous place to which we may never return. "Why was I so mad?"

Anyway, part of what I love about Kelly is that she used to be a photojournalist, and therefore rocks the socks off of the candid photos. They're my favorite part. So my goal is to get through the posed photos as quickly as possible given the large divorced families who will want pictures. How many of these do we actually need to stage? I'm thinking:

1. Before the ceremony: me and my family and He-Mouse and his family in various combinations, plus bridal party photos.
2. After the ceremony:
a) Bridal party
b) Bridal party doing something funny
c) Me, He-Mouse, and my mom
d) Us and my dad
e) Us and his mom
f) Us and his dad
g) Us and his grandparents, part one
h) Us and his grandparents, the sequel

And then I'm thinking all the friends and extended family can just effing wait and get candids taken of them during the reception. We'll be fighting sunset, and we need to get through the effing posed photos so we can get a few pics of the two of us with the cacti. What do you think?

* For instance: I'm sorry, but I'm not a frou-frou drinks person. When I say "margarita," the flavors I expect are lime, tequila and salt. Not mango or apple or prickly pear. Thanks anyway. Those things are fun if you like them, but they're not my cup of tequila.
** Arizona brides: may I recommend Kelly to you? You will be SO HAPPY.
*** Welp, it stuck.
**** My opinion only.