After reading Anna and The Ring's thoughts on beauty and some tweets from Cupcake Wedding about the crash diets on which her bridesmaids embarking, I thought it might be an opportune moment to think about what we mean by beautiful when planning our weddings. Because I was thinking about this, and for me, it has much less to do with "aesthetically pleasing" or "industry standard" and much more to do with "fun, special, memorable, personal, meaningful." I also can't think of a wedding I've attended that didn't overwhelm me with its beauty. Weddings are like that, with or without the trimmings.

I've been reading a lot of wedding blogs lately (as have you, obv), and you know what stands out among all those gorgeous, washed-out, lit photos? It isn't the shrugs or the cuff bracelets.* It isn't whether the bridesmaids or groomsmen happen to look and dress like fashion models (or hipsters, depending on the blog). The thing I look for is that raw happiness that radiates from the photos. I look for the groom doing a backflip, or the bride holding hands with her mother. I look for the bridesmaids who are laughing with their mouths waaaay open and the grannys getting down on the dance floor. THAT is wedding beauty, my dear micies, and it has nothing at all to do with the size of your dress or any of your body parts.**

In that spirit, here is an open letter to my bridesmaids:

My dearest darlings:

I am deeply honored that you will be in my wedding. I could not possibly get married without you standing beside me, and I am grateful that you will be a guardian of our marriage in the years to come. I believe that you are beautiful, precious, smart, ballsy, and wonderful.

I vow to find a dress that makes you feel both comfortable and pretty. I pledge not to inflict a hair and makeup scheme that makes you look like someone else. You stand among the most important women in my life, and I want you to be happy on my wedding day. I want you to look like yourself in the photographs, because I love you just the way you are.

xo,
Mouse

Would you like to meet my bridesmaids, by the way?

• The Artist Previously Known as ChiMaid,*** who is not afraid of anything, including maggots on deer carcasses and cheating bastard ex-boyfriends, and who is my constant light in dark times as we rescue each other over and over again

• Ya-Ya, whose compassion runneth over and who warms every room, and who understands the power of expletives and bourbon

• Country Mouse, who manages to do it all and raise two tiny people on basically zero chickens and never complains except to say "This is a little bit tricky"

• O., who reinvents herself constantly and devotes herself to every new chapter with passion, abandon, and total faith

• Em, the older sister I chose for myself, whose finely honed intuition guides her like a compass and who is most at home among outcasts of all kinds

Oh, mice. I wish so much that I could do more for these women. I'm not in financial shape to pay for dresses, hotels, airplanes. What I will clearly need to find are some beautiful bridesmaid gifts. Any ideas?

* Well, maybe sometimes the cuff bracelets.
** I'm a beanpole, actually, and I am ENVIOUS of those of you who fearlessly rock your curves. I would love to borrow some curves for my wedding. The Artist, O., and Ya-Ya have particularly enviable ones.
*** I don't want her to have a name with "maid" in it. "Maid" doesn't describe the person who repeatedly saves you all other sorts of evil sh*t like Spanx and mean people and really bad dating decisions. Petite Chablis had the right idea with the name Supermaid. Let's think of another one! Or else I'm just going with "The Artist" or a squiggly hieroglyphic thing.

By the way, stay tuned this afternoon for the October Hill giveaway winner!