I'm really new to thinking about weddings. That means that I have sticker-shock and also concept-shock (as in, you want my wedding dress to cost more than my car?! AND you want it to make me look like a blow-up doll?!) about several of the things that various well-meaning family members and friends expect. And I'm generally fine with blowing off convention, breaking the rules I think are stupid,* and doing it my way. But I'll be honest, I surprised myself when it came down to thinking about the rings. When He-Mouse asked if I wanted a diamond or some other stone, I found that I really did want a diamond. And not just for stylistic reasons (colorless stone is easier to wear, right?), but for sentimental ones. The diamond is still entrenched in my mind underneath layers and layers of feminism. It connects me with my mother, my grandmother. I like the idea.

However, I am a superstitious Mouse. I believe in karma. I had a strong reaction to the idea of symbolizing our love with someone else's pain. And a lot of people have started to think about this, to the point of pushing jewelers to certify that their diamonds do not come from the processes popularized in the film "Blood Diamond." Sadly, many of these certification methods, especially the Kimberly Process, have proved ineffective for certifying a diamond's ethical origins.

The people who founded Brilliant Earth, where He-Mouse bought my ring, created their company for precisely this reason. (In fact, the founders chose this career while shopping for their own engagement rings, and finding the selection lacking.) They use all Canadian-certified diamonds, traced from their fair-wage, environmentally responsible mines directly to the jeweler. Every one of their pieces is made from recycled and re-refined metals, eliminating the toxic gold-mining process. In this interest, they even accept old gold and platinum jewelry as credit towards your engagement ring. They also make beautiful, wearable, high-quality pieces in both traditional and custom designs.

My big question at this point was about money.** Meg, over at A Practical Wedding, has made a passionate and sustained argument for using your wedding money for something. Indeed, I won't have a chunk of expendable income like this for, like, ever. So the purchases I make for my wedding--and I am making this commitment now--must support a better world. I'm not a super-hippie, and I may not be able to be green all the time, but when spending this amount of money, I'm called to consider its impact.

In this interest, Brilliant Earth runs a massive "Giving Back" program which sends five percent of company profits to communities impacted by the jewelry trade in Africa. This money, rather than supporting violence, goes to child labor prevention, land restoration, medical aid, and local economy initiatives. It's a purchase we can feel good about. No wonder I'm looking to Brilliant Earth for He-Mouse's wedding band. What do you think of this one?***
I also think it doesn't end with the rings. If you've already made that decision, think about the next thing--what might you do to make your wedding give back? Charitable favors, maybe? Green disposables? Who has good ideas?

* I'm looking at you, garter toss.
** Affordability was also an issue for us, and again, Brilliant Earth took the cake. They are substantially more affordable than the other green and sustainable jewelers we looked at, and their customer service is excellent.
*** It's 4mm. How wide is wide?

(Since the publication of this post, Brilliant Earth has become a Souris Mariage advertiser.)