I bought my first wedding magazine over the weekend, something I had been avoiding. It's not that I don't love magazines, but more that they create some insane expectations better described over at A Practical Wedding.* For instance, this particular one advocated $9,895 bridesmaid shoes and renting lovebirds. Yes. Lovebirds. As in renting, for one day, a pair of birds.I'll now indulge in the traditional wedding blog disclaimer, which goes: if YOU are planning to have $9,895 bridesmaid shoes and a pair of rented lovebirds, or anything else I don't particularly like, I mean you no offense. I'm sure your wedding will be gorgeous. It's just that Mouse and He-Mouse** have a limited budget and a unique sense of style. So when I say NO TO LOVEBIRDS! it's just because I, personally, do not like birds after various traumatic house-sitting experiences when I was ten. These decisions are all deeply, deeply personal.
Anyway.
It occurs to me that all of this is such an emotional mishmash that I should take a moment, right now, to state for the record the things that we really want from our wedding day.
We want: good loud music, bright bright colors, plenty of alcohol, food that is yummy but does not cause food coma, kids, a babysitter, a short ceremony conducted by someone we know, all the people who are important to us in the room, attendants who will fight to protect our marriage, everyone looking like themselves, long tables so people can talk, stellar photography, and lots of fun.
We do not want: a dress that stands up by itself, tuxes, to make anybody go into debt in order to be in the wedding party, long speeches, unplanned toasts and/or comedy routines, "stupid people--no stupid people allowed,"*** anything that costs so much money I feel ridiculous writing the check, the bouquet toss, the garter toss, the dollar dance,**** singing by anybody but the musicians, uncomfortable shoes, or rented birds.
*Over there, it's called the Wedding Industrial Complex. Like the Military Industrial Complex. Or the Prison Industrial Complex. And I quite see where Meg is going with this.
**Previously known as Boyfriend. I let him choose. This may be just a holdover until I can call him Huz.
***Says He-Mouse from other room.
****We may be stuck with the dollar dance. I will explain in another post.
12 comments:
Hahaha wedding magazines... they are good for laughing at. My favorite "budget" tip: Have the caviar as a passed hors d'oeuvre, not a station. You'll need less of it that way and will save much money! To which I shook my head, because isn't the real budget option to just not serve caviar at all?
Not serve caviar?! Good grief, Bookbag. What are we, animals? Everyone knows that you have to serve caviar and filet mignon and Real French Champagne at your wedding, otherwise you are a bad bride and your marriage isn't legal and you will traumatize all of your relatives and the fabric of the space-time continuum will be irreversibly torn.
... or something.
Im so excited to watch your bridal blog be born and your wedding unfold. My nickname around the house is mouse and I have an extensive collection of mouse-mobilia on my blog. Its under "Mouse and Fish Corner". At any rate, having this nickname in common gives me a special thrill reading all the mouse references and double entendres. I think you should call all yummy wedding morsels that you find "wedding cheese"! (PS. my word verification is "hopykupl" -- as in happy couple. yay!)
Bookbag and Petite Chablis: EXACTLY. Eff it. I'm a cava kind of girl.
Desaray: Hello, other mouse! I love your verification word! xo
btw, Desaray, how do I see your blog? Where is it?
The dollar dance totally freaks me out. Something way too stripper-esque about it for me to be comfortable. But some guests LOVE it. They get so excited to go up and pay for a dance. I guess it's a family tradition thing? My parents had never heard of it and were completely horrified the first time we went to a wedding that had it.
My big thing was no wedding swag. No white fluffy shit draped everywhere, like a big fat swag monster puked ... swag. Seriously, even the word swag (other than swagger, which is an awesome word) makes me shudder.
Saaah-wwwwwaaaah-guh.
you won't have much control over the unplanned toasts. because, you see, they are "unplanned."
the good news is, they are usually RAD.
what in the name of the sweet baby jesus is a dollar dance?
Peonies, the dollar dance is where family members and friends pay $1 (or more) to dance with the bride and groom. It's traditional in some areas/among some cultures, but unheard of in others. I'd never heard of a dollar dance until I started planning my own wedding and stumbled across the concept on someone else's wedding blo.
Oops, that should have been "blog," not "blo."
Peonies: let me save my whole speech on the dollar dance for a post tomorrow. I have a whole speech. And stuff.
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